Josie's back again--I liked Prince Alix's last one so much I HAD to add to it. God, my brain will hurt by the time I'm done with this sh*t....
When people say "It hurts so much it's not even funny" or "I'm so tired it's not even funny," why would it be funny in the first place?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
(one of my favs) If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service, would they have to change their name to Knockers?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll just squeeze these little dangly things here and drink whatever comes out"?
Who was the first person to look at a chicken and say, "I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of that animal's butt"?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
Why don't they make the sticky stuff on the backs of envelopes flavored?
Do they have a girl's bathroom in gay bars?
If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead? (hahahahahaha)
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouths full?
What happens when you say "hi" on an airplane to your friend named Jack?
If a deaf person was to go to court, would it still be called a hearing?
If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?
Don't you find it weird that we teach our kids, "scrub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub"???
Is it possible to to stand-up comedy sitting down?
Put "The" and "IRS" together and you get "Theirs." Coincidence? I think not.
Pull apart "therapist" and you get "the rapist." Scary...
Do sheep get static cling when they rub up against one another?
If anything's possible, then it is possible that nothing's possible?
If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
And the last one for now...
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
I love these. :-))))) Thanks for reminding me, A.........
Oh, y'all should know I can't take credit for any of these, though--go to Goodquotes.com for the BEST witty this-and-thats you can think of.